| |
| |
|
Relationships, All the info you need! |
|
|
|
Relationship Conflict: 5 Deadly Mistakes and What to Do Instead
While conflict in marriage is inevitable, fighting is optional. The secret is in how you approach and handle the conflict. It can make the difference between a really great relationship and a breakup looking for a place to happen. With that notion in mind, let's take a look at five styles of handling conflict, along with alternative solutions for each. Ready-Fire-Aim These folks are the shooters of conflict. They live by the motto "cross me and you will pay." Instead of ready-aim-fire, they shoot first and ask questions later. This style causes lots of damage and usually serves to isolate the shooter. Alternative solution: In the words of Stephen Covey, "Seek first to understand, then to be understood." If you take the time to understand someone and that person's point of view, it's a whole lot easier to keep your shooter in its holster. Crock potters They let a conflict simmer for a while. Sometimes it can be as harmless as needing to mull things over before handling conflict. At their worst, crock potters simmer and seethe, building resentments, blowing up, or both. Alternative solution: It can be healthy and productive to mull it over before you respond in a conflict. Instead of allowing it to boil over, agree on a time you will sit down together and calmly address the conflict. Me right/you wrong This style of conflict really is as primitive as Tarzan. People who hold tightly to the right to be right can go to just about any length to prove they are right, even to the point of ending the relationship. Alternative solution: Punt. Give up the right to be right. Check out what you might be able to learn from the other point of view, which might even be as valid as your own. Shocking, I realize, but highly possible. The simple truth is that in marriage there are times when you can be right or be happy, but not both. Tomb-ers They elevate the infamous silent treatment to an art form. Conflict arises and they shut down. When you ask what's wrong, their reply is either "nothing" or "everything's fine," but you know better. Alternative solution: Usually tomb-ers have a strong fear of conflict, believing that any conflict will end the relationship. Quite the opposite is true _ not dealing with the conflict can kill the relationship from within. Here are some words to begin with: "Can I tell you what I'm uncomfortable with here?" Historians They remember every fault, mistake and blunder ever made by their partner, including what was said, what you wore and where you were standing at the time. And, they're more than willing to remind you, in detail. Alternative solution: Get a dry-erase board. Write the current conflict on the blank board. Deal with it. Resolve it. Erase it. Over, done with, gone. I'm guessing that you have identified your partner's style of conflict. Now, read back through the categories and ask yourself: Which one am I? For more immediately useable tips and tools for your relationship, visit relationship coach Jeff Herring's interactive website at SecretsofGreatRelationships.com
MORE RESOURCES:
Benefit From Being Part Of "America'S Most Trusted Company For ... - Franchising.com (press release)
Debt-Relief - Google News |
|
|
|
RELATED ARTICLES
Zen And Romance The art of romance and the art of Zen are actually very similar. By romance we mean the feeling of love, happiness, joy and delight in just waking up in the morning. Breaking Your Relationship Pattern, Part 1 When you were little, you looked up to your parents. You imitated their mannerisms, words, and actions as you learned about life by watching them. Victorias Secret Disclosed! SHHHHHH, don't tell anybody, but, I know the secret.It all started with a simple shopping spree. Parasitic Relationship Something in my life is weighing heavily on my mind, and I don't talk to anyone about it. I married my husband when he was 21 and I was 20. 7 Power Skills that Build Strong Relationships A strong, healthy relationship is one in which the partners show respect and kindness toward each other. The relationship forms a rewarding and enduring bond of trust and support. Communication Is The Key To A Lasting Relationship "If you are trying to find ways to lead a more fulfilled life, at some point the spotlight of your attention will fall on your various relationships - with family, lovers, friends and colleagues," stated Take Control of Your Life, one of the series in Time-Life Books.Relationship can bring great pleasure and satisfaction where they work and unhappiness when they don't. The Real Way for Men to WOW the Woman They Love Guys, I know the struggle, you want to give her a gift that will thrill her, really show her how much you care for her. I am always trying to do this for my wife and it takes a serious game plan. Relationship Spring Cleaning by Susan Sheppard History doesn't belong in a relationship that is presentMy friend, Jack Rafferty, the famous Man-Woman Coach, used to say "don't clean the clean" referring of course to relationship. What he meant by that was once you have gotten angry, argued, and "effectively dealt with" something that happened that hurt your feelings, be done with it. Extreme Breakup Recovery: Maximum Healing / Minimum Time If you are going through the emotional rollercoaster of a breakup, feeling pain, anger and depression, know this: You don't need to suffer one more day over your ex! It doesn't matter how long you have suffered, it is time to give up the pain and open up to a life free of pain.You may feel that you can't stop clinging on to the past, but by clinging on to the past, you are stopping life. African Dating - Pride and Ambition It is no secret that African culture is known for its pride. Most Africans do not have a problem standing up for their beliefs and causes, and are often ambitious when it comes to obtaining specific goals. Cheating Husband/Wife: 6 Keys to Know if You are Ready to Handle What You Might Find When You Spy When you spy on your suspected cheating spouse, please make sure you consider all the possibilities you might encounter and whether you can handle them.Have you considered the many situations that spying might uncover? Can you imagine the worst thing you might find? Predict what your response will be to the worst-case scenario. The Unfairly Judged Professor An All Too Familiar TaleShe takes her teaching responsibilities seriously; she is committed to making a difference in her students' lives. She prepares her syllabus meticulously, with class-by-class activities and assignments, the most relevant and up to date readings, illustrative cases, experiential activities. Affairs: Advice for the Couple Recovering from an affair is hard work and will take time.The good news is that in the more than 20 years I've been helping people put a marriage back together after an affair, I have never seen a couple where both partners really wanted to heal their marriage who could not. Pay Attention! Mastering Communication Skills with Women One of the biggest complaints women have about men is they just don't listen. This can cause big problems in the relationship. Do You Enable? We all have behaviors, tendencies, patterns, and the keen ability to recognize any and all of them. However, when we become so accustomed and engrossed in them, how do we know we are enabling someone else's negative behaviors?It can be sometimes difficult to come to this realization, because it is has been such a seemingly normal way of life for a designated period of time. Infidelity Excuse: I Fell Out of Love... and Just Love Being in Love I find this dilemma rather common for younger couples, probably mid or late 30s and younger.Usually one reports, "falling out of love" and is truly disturbed by this shift. Q & A: Reuniting With a Lost Love >1. Who are the prime candidates to rekindle a romance?The most successful rekindled romances were lost lovers who had been 17 or younger at the time of the initial romance -- first loves -- and had separated for situational reasons, like "parents disapproved," "moved away. Wow, Grandma Is Dating! Wow, Grandma Is Dating!When Lena, 52, began dating, her son, Paul, joined the same dating site. Together, mother and son set out to find love. Aromatherapy : A Scent Away for Great Relationships Is it possible that a scent can make you more mellow and increase dramatically the relation with you and your mate? Can you calm the kids down instantly? Do you wish that you would feel and look more in control for the big meeting? Thousands of people around the world have discovered the powerful benefits of Aromatherapy. And you can do it to. Easy Ways to Turn Any Evening Romantic If you don't have the time, money or energy to plan and execute the perfect date, you're not alone. The good news is you can set up a romantic evening in just a few minutes and without any cost.
|
| home | site map |
| © 2007 RichiesList.com |
